It’s a magical world after all… let’s go exploring!!

U2 have quoted “Nothing changes On New Year's Day” but my life is definitely going to change this coming New Year. Come 2010 and I am up for a ride. I do not believe in new year resolutions as I have seen people including myself faltering and never recovering on the same for that year, so let me start this promising year with a to do list. If I complete it, it is for my own good; if I don’t then what the heck, it’s my list after all :-) so, here it goes….

1. After a while I am returning home, so I will take care of my family and bring more happiness into their lives even though if I have to sacrifice some things which bring happiness to me.
2. I will try to find a purpose and not be a depraved human being. (I quote from Atlas Shrugged: The most depraved type of human being ... (is) the man without a purpose)
3. I will do my work with more than 100% commitment. There’s nothing of any importance except how well I do my work. Period.
4. I will try to find a life partner. I know marriages are made in heaven, but then effort has to be made on earth :-)
5. Once I find a life partner, I will try to bring all the happiness in this world for her in this new beginning. (Please note “her”, I am not gay :-))
6. I will get in touch with my old friends especially those I have not been in contact with from a long time. Yes, this item is long pending and now that I will be in Delhi, I will surely try and beg for forgiveness.
7. I was wondering how my to-do list can be without any line item for MuSiC. I am completely blank as to what to mention here. I am not sure whether I will have time to learn a musical instrument. Alright, I found something… I will make someone happy by singing a song for him/her. (Mind it... this is one of the most difficult item in my list considering my tone of voice but I can give it a shot after all :-) I hope I don’t end up making that person even sadder!)
8. I will stay fit. Now, this will be a little difficult considering my work travel schedule but weekends are there to compensate.
9. I will try to be still. Now this has got into my list as mom told me yesterday that my mind wanders about too much and I should concentrate on making it peaceful and still. I have no clue what does it mean but maybe by the end of the year I know what it means and I would have become “stiller”?. Happy exploring! :-)
10. I will get closer to god. Don’t worry; I am not talking about dying. It is the spiritual connection I am referring to here (I hope mom or god does not read my blog anytime otherwise I am in for a regular trip to the temple.)

Looking at the above list, I must say it will be helluva year! But then, as I said 2010 is a year for change… It’s a magical world after all… let’s go exploring!!

Wish you all a very happy new year!!

Cheers,
Luv

Silence

There are moments of laughter; there are moments of pain. But in between them, there are moments of silence.

Sometimes it so just happens that I become silent all of a sudden. In between the fiery conversations or friendly bantering, my mind revolves around the blokes and all of a sudden I keep mum. My eyes widen and I keep silent for a while; and this period of silence ranges from a moment to a lifetime. People around me wonder what happened to him all of a sudden. I do not have the answer myself. My mind at that time is thinking so much that I think it forgets to signal my tongue to move about. Is it the time when I want to talk the most but am afraid that my innermost feeling might reflect? Maybe yes. I always believe that silence speaks more than words and there are times when silence is heard the loudest. But I always wonder how my silence is being interpreted by the other person. In these moments of silence, I have felt that I want to say so much to the other person, want to convey my innermost feelings to him/her but still I pause. I pause and wait. I try to convey the message by other means, maybe eyes or body language but again the mode of communication stands broken. Do I try to hide from people what I want to convey? Am I weak enough to put my stand forward? Or is it that I do not want to hurt the other person or make him/her sad with my feelings.

Whatever the case may be, I hope someday I will stop hushing and will be able to regain my conscious in these periods of stillness and say what I need to say… till then wake me up, wake me up fellows when you find me revolving around the blokes!

~elkays