It’s a magical world after all… let’s go exploring!!

U2 have quoted “Nothing changes On New Year's Day” but my life is definitely going to change this coming New Year. Come 2010 and I am up for a ride. I do not believe in new year resolutions as I have seen people including myself faltering and never recovering on the same for that year, so let me start this promising year with a to do list. If I complete it, it is for my own good; if I don’t then what the heck, it’s my list after all :-) so, here it goes….

1. After a while I am returning home, so I will take care of my family and bring more happiness into their lives even though if I have to sacrifice some things which bring happiness to me.
2. I will try to find a purpose and not be a depraved human being. (I quote from Atlas Shrugged: The most depraved type of human being ... (is) the man without a purpose)
3. I will do my work with more than 100% commitment. There’s nothing of any importance except how well I do my work. Period.
4. I will try to find a life partner. I know marriages are made in heaven, but then effort has to be made on earth :-)
5. Once I find a life partner, I will try to bring all the happiness in this world for her in this new beginning. (Please note “her”, I am not gay :-))
6. I will get in touch with my old friends especially those I have not been in contact with from a long time. Yes, this item is long pending and now that I will be in Delhi, I will surely try and beg for forgiveness.
7. I was wondering how my to-do list can be without any line item for MuSiC. I am completely blank as to what to mention here. I am not sure whether I will have time to learn a musical instrument. Alright, I found something… I will make someone happy by singing a song for him/her. (Mind it... this is one of the most difficult item in my list considering my tone of voice but I can give it a shot after all :-) I hope I don’t end up making that person even sadder!)
8. I will stay fit. Now, this will be a little difficult considering my work travel schedule but weekends are there to compensate.
9. I will try to be still. Now this has got into my list as mom told me yesterday that my mind wanders about too much and I should concentrate on making it peaceful and still. I have no clue what does it mean but maybe by the end of the year I know what it means and I would have become “stiller”?. Happy exploring! :-)
10. I will get closer to god. Don’t worry; I am not talking about dying. It is the spiritual connection I am referring to here (I hope mom or god does not read my blog anytime otherwise I am in for a regular trip to the temple.)

Looking at the above list, I must say it will be helluva year! But then, as I said 2010 is a year for change… It’s a magical world after all… let’s go exploring!!

Wish you all a very happy new year!!

Cheers,
Luv

Silence

There are moments of laughter; there are moments of pain. But in between them, there are moments of silence.

Sometimes it so just happens that I become silent all of a sudden. In between the fiery conversations or friendly bantering, my mind revolves around the blokes and all of a sudden I keep mum. My eyes widen and I keep silent for a while; and this period of silence ranges from a moment to a lifetime. People around me wonder what happened to him all of a sudden. I do not have the answer myself. My mind at that time is thinking so much that I think it forgets to signal my tongue to move about. Is it the time when I want to talk the most but am afraid that my innermost feeling might reflect? Maybe yes. I always believe that silence speaks more than words and there are times when silence is heard the loudest. But I always wonder how my silence is being interpreted by the other person. In these moments of silence, I have felt that I want to say so much to the other person, want to convey my innermost feelings to him/her but still I pause. I pause and wait. I try to convey the message by other means, maybe eyes or body language but again the mode of communication stands broken. Do I try to hide from people what I want to convey? Am I weak enough to put my stand forward? Or is it that I do not want to hurt the other person or make him/her sad with my feelings.

Whatever the case may be, I hope someday I will stop hushing and will be able to regain my conscious in these periods of stillness and say what I need to say… till then wake me up, wake me up fellows when you find me revolving around the blokes!

~elkays

The Musiconnoisseur!!

Yesterday, in the midst of heavy traffic patrolling down the streets of Mehrauli, there were 2 guys spotted blasting their heart out on a song while the other 3 passengers in the car were busy gossiping about quotidian activities and rituals, ignorant to the song being played. Indifferent to the outside world, the two were submerged in their own sweet world of music whether it’s unplugged or reprise. Welcome to the world of “The Musiconnoisseur”!

I’ve met several different species of Musiconnoisseurs in this short span of life that I have enjoyed. To start with the first species are “The Musicaters”, who simply hate music. Yes, that is true. This kind of species always requests for turning down the volume. They prefer to listen to the news rather than music. I have met a couple of people in the car pool who fall in this category. My grandfather will also fall into this category.

Next are “The Musignorants”, who are ignorant to the music being played around them. They are ignorant to the type of music being played, it doesn’t make any difference to them whether any music is being played or not. They wish that the music was not that loud but then do not complain about it. “The Musignorants”! People in my life who fall in this category are my mom, nanny, a couple of cousins and a couple of friends.

Next in the line are “The Musitainers”, for whom music is just another form of entertainment. They do not have any preference of music, they mostly like peppy tracks having dhink chack groovy kind of beat. The only songs they listen to are the ones listed in the top 20 countdown. “The Musitainers”! Sonu, Kush, Moni and a lot of my friends will comprise this species. Sometimes I find myself hanging here as well for a period.

Next are “The Musiluvers”, who simply love music. They believe that they “live for music”. Music is an integral part of their life and has a space in their life and time. They try to find means of discovering new music, explore new jingles. They enjoy music of every genre. They sing as if they are the ones from whom this jingle has embarked. Most of them have a bad voice, they cannot sing but still they pour their heart out when they hear a song they love. I believe that the two guys, Sachin and I, who were spotted in the traffic above comprise of this species. My second maa will also fall in this species. Also, all my dearest friends are a part of this list. Maybe we bond together because of this common stroke.

“The Musibehavers” are the final species who I have met. For they do not live for music, but “Music lives for them”!! The only thing which they dream about is music, music bands and music instruments. They read music, worship music. For them there is nothing beyond or superior to music. They are “The Musibehavers”! My dad needs a special mention in this species; after all he is the one who is responsible for my love for music. Three other people who I cannot control to mention, and yes I will pin their names down this time – Daddu aka Mayank, Kali and Colyn. In their own special way, these 3 people misbehave with music, hence “The Musibehavers”!

Ps: To my family and dearest friends, please don’t judge me on the above classification, you are very special to me in your own special way irrespective of whether you love or hate music. I love you all.

What a stupid world!

Just a couple of minutes back I was logged into Facebook to check what the world is up to and saw a friend logged in whom I had a chance to work with when I was in the states. After exchanging greetings and sharing what both of us were up to, I received a message from him "Wish you were here :-)"

I just replied to him with a smiley... :-)

Some days back I heard a very dear friend say to someone that he hates to part, especially from good friends! And then who doesn't!

I always wanted to pet a dog, to be a friend but never had the courage for it because of the fear to part when it leaves. Maybe they are short lived cause their friendship is so long and strong! Does it mean that long friendships are short lived? I know friendship remains forever and with these new means of networking these days, you are in touch with all your best buds! But by short lived I meant not being there in the same place and time, not being there when you want someone to kill your boredom, not being there for all the hullabaloo!! Not Being THERE!

Again, Dylan has rightly termed what I feel as:

I been meek
And hard like an oak
I seen pretty people disappear like smoke.
Friends will arrive, friends will disappear,
If you want me, honey baby,
I'll be here.

- Buckets of Rain, Bob Dylan (http://www.bobdylan.com/#/songs/buckets-rain)

The only thing which can describe what I feel about this is this Calvin's strip, wonder how even comics can invoke emotions!


"What a stupid world!!" .... Huh!

Another day in paradise....

I remember the only day in the year when I used to visit my dad’s office. It continues to be the day of the year when it is obligatory for me to relish Moong Chawal, because it is the tradition which has prevailed from generations. It was only this day in the year when my visit to his office was inevitable. It meant so much to me, not because that I loved being in his office (no offence meant dad) but it was the only day in the year when my pocket got laden. And the visit to his office also meant that I could order any type of cuisine I wanted to have and not pay for it. The same day I used to visit my grandparents house too with the same motive. Yup, I agree that I am selfish but that small amount of money meant so much to me that time. I remember that the amount was always well spent each year, mostly in either collecting music or sports gear.

And here I am again, the same day is approaching me but the visit to dad’s office seems to be a distant dream. What does the festival of light signify to me now? Sweets, new clothes, money etc. does not thrill me anymore. Firecrackers are a no no considering the pollution levels of my city. And moreover I have realized that it is more fun to sit back and enjoy the show rather than act in it. Well, I don’t have an answer to this quest as of now but I think visiting back home is more than what I am looking at...a day where my friends and family gather together and have fun. Maybe if I can listen to some old Hindi songs with my dad and click some photographs, it would be an evening well spent. Also I would love to lighten up some diyas on the stairways to home aka heaven. This is one thing which I love on Diwali, to brighten up your home and spirits. With arms wide open you invite godess Lakshmi for her blessings. (And I was thinking that I am the only one who is selfish)

I am looking forward to the brightness and happiness this day brings to our lives though the traditional feast of Moong Chawal still frightens me till date….. Wish you all a very happy and prosperous Diwali!

Cheers as always!
Luv

Here comes the sun...

I have decided to be a little bit more regular on this site. People keep personal diaries unfolding their day and themselves at the end of the day. Maybe I will not be able to post something very personal here but I will try to be as truthful as I can. Well, I have seen people tweet and update their facebook profile every hour on what they are doing, how do they feel about a news or thing they care for – so maybe there is something in it which I have not realized. Maybe that has become a way of life now. I don’t know. But I want to know. I don’t know whether I will be able to tweet every hour; but for sure I can make it a habit to pin down something every week here. Maybe just a hello dolly!

On this new beginning I quote…

“Here comes the sun, here comes the sun
and I say it's all right!” ~ The Beatles

Have a happy long weekend!
Ciao!

For you, a thousand times over….

It’s been ages since I have even thought of visiting me…

And here I am, again; intruding me, myself and my existence. And in between now and then, I have travelled; both space and time. And in between now and then, I have intermingled; both people and myself. But the only thing which has endured with me in this journey is me. Have I lost it ALL or all along it has only been me, just that I have realized it now?

The reality is I get hurt when friends leave away from me within space and time. I realize that I need to Rise Up and overcome this thought which was reminded to me by these lines I read recently….

“If our friendship depends on things like space and time, then when we finally overcome space and time, we’ve destroyed our own brotherhood! But overcome space, and all we have left is Here. Overcome time, and all we have left is Now. And in the middle of Here and Now, don’t you think that we might see each other once or twice?” – From Jonathan Livingston Seagull.

I would just like to end this beautiful note by a quote from the Kite runner for my dearest friends….

“For you, a thousand times over….”

Cheers!
Luv